Active Voice Communications

Over the past several weeks, our nation’s leaders (and a slew of talking heads) have been discussing the nature of our public discourse. How do our leaders frame debates? In what tone are they addressing each other?

Politicians have long spewed vitriol. But is our problem necessarily tone and language? As a writer, I understand the weight of words. But for me, the bigger issue — and it goes far beyond our nation’s capital — is that we simply don’t listen. Thanks to social media and other tools, we all have a microphone. So, we talk and talk. We blog. We tweet. We update our statuses.

Personally, professionally, politically — there is little listening and much talking. I’ve noticed a number of friends and colleagues on Facebook and Twitter, for example, who don’t engage with others. They only broadcast. All talking, no listening.

In business, it would often do us well to just shut up. A few months ago, I interviewed Peter Sheahan for an article in Speaker Magazine, a publication produced by the National Speakers Association for its members. Sheahan is an entrepreneur, thought leader, author and highly sought-after speaker. During our conversation, he shared an anecdote about the power of listening.

He recalled a sales call where he listened for 28 minutes — and spoke for just one. He got the job. He attributed it to listening and being willing to learn what the client’s problem was.

“It’s because I’m not saying, ‘Here’s my view of the world,’” he explained. “Instead, I’m asking, ‘What’s your view of the world?’”

The fascination with broadcasting our views isn’t just about politicians and 24-hour news channels. It’s about how we ALL interact with our spouses, our friends, our business associates.

Personally, I’ve found that the people who talk all the time … I’ve stopped listening. I don’t have time to see if in all of their talking, there’s a nugget of genius. But people who mostly listen and speak only at strategic opportunities? Now, those are people worth listening to, I’ve learned.

The next time you sit down in a meeting, bring a stopwatch (heck, your iPhone probably has an app for that). Pay attention to how much of the time you spend talking and how much you spend listening. Are you taking the time to really understand the issues facing your company or department? Are you listening to all perspectives? More than that, even if you aren’t talking, are you actively listening to each speaker, or are you too busy writing your to-do list or thinking of what you’ll say when it is your turn to speak?

Bottom line is this: We could all be better listeners. I know I could. So now, I’d like to hear from you. What have you done to improve your listening skills? What have you noticed about talkers vs. listeners?